thanks for your concern, li min, barry and lester...appreciate it...really...
i believe...time will heal those open wounds......someday.
Monday, November 26, 2007
so much in a day...
just finish bathing after a whole day of cleaning up my cupboard...but i've yet finish...shall continue tomorrow...
anyway, i just feel like ranting out my terrible saturday...in the morning when i asked huilin some stuff, she said she'll give me a call in the afternoon...and that she got something to tell me...i didnt know why, but i feel that it is not going to be a good news...
and so i set out for ps at 4pm...and on my way to my bus stop, i gave huilin a call...and guess what?she say she dont need us for the dec month anymore...and the reason was because she decided to use the two girls who started in nov...simply because they already know how to skate and start earlier...i was so shocked that i didnt know what to say...disappointed too...of course, the income is one thing...but another is because...it came out from huilin...it hurts more than any other heartware staff...she asked us during our exam period to go work for heartware...and we gave her the dates she want on the second upon receiving her email...she came up with the work schedule and emailed us...both me and melia are working for 25 days...i told my marie claire boss that i will work for him starting from jan instead of dec because of the 'half volunteery' work...(for your info, my sale promoter's pay is definitely higher...) and now?after some discussion with her that both of us didnt look for other jobs after she confirmed with us, and that it is pretty late to find job, she asked if we would want if it is lesser days...so i called up melia and got back to her...in the end, we've each got 17 working days...i shall not count how much lesser is the pay because it is just too unbearable...during last year's giving month, huilin and us were under the same committee...that was when we all got closer...since then, she has always been my favourite person at heartware...when she first looked for me for this year's dec event and told me to help her look for people, i messaged every single committee member to inform them...she say she looked for us because we are reliable...and i believed her of course...we even planned which christmas card we want to give her...so that we wont give the same one...and after all that eagerness and excitement towards the whole busy month for a whole week was disappointment and shattered within a minute...all that trust...where have they all gone?i felt like a fool right from the moment...how can she do this to me???almost uncontrollably, my tears welled up in my eyes and blurred my vision...but of course, i fight back the tears...because i was about to reach the bus stop...i silently cursed myself for calling her right before i go out...because it just took one minute to dampen my whole mood for the movie i've been looking forward to weeks before my exam end...when i told nurul, my vision went blurred again...all the way...until i reach boon keng mrt station...people must be thinking that i've just been ditched...but i think i felt as bad as that...and on mrt, i talked to melia...again, the tears came...and this time...i didnt manage to hold back...i seriously felt like going back home and have a great 'release'...(means cry lah...) but i still went to ps...
and i realise...bad luck comes one after another...
did you ever realise that some words from your mouth, might cost the three years of friendship between me and her?did you ever realise the seriousness of each and every word at this tense period?
funny...i thought some people can be trusted...yet, within the same day, two proved me wrong...terribly wrong...isnt that enough for the day?i know that good things come in pair...but i didnt know that bad things come in a pair too...how many times must i fail, to convince myself that i should never trust anyone?
i realise...everytime when i join in...i'll always end up feeling terrible, for whatever the reason is...call me over-sensitive...call me immature...i dont care...because the fact is that it indeed happened...so i came up with a solution...in order not be a wet blanket anymore, in order not to inflict myself with more injuries anymore, that shall be the last time it would ever happen with me around...i dont want to be blamed for dampening the mood, anymore...我当担不起...i'm sure it will be much better without me...treat it as if you guys have never met me...i'm sure you all will feel better...the biggest and last favor you can ever do for me is no counselling, no talks, or any of such...i'm terribly tired...
at the same time...i've decided to let go...of you, too...
i am still learning to accomplish all that...
farewell to love, and friendship...
anyway, i just feel like ranting out my terrible saturday...in the morning when i asked huilin some stuff, she said she'll give me a call in the afternoon...and that she got something to tell me...i didnt know why, but i feel that it is not going to be a good news...
and so i set out for ps at 4pm...and on my way to my bus stop, i gave huilin a call...and guess what?she say she dont need us for the dec month anymore...and the reason was because she decided to use the two girls who started in nov...simply because they already know how to skate and start earlier...i was so shocked that i didnt know what to say...disappointed too...of course, the income is one thing...but another is because...it came out from huilin...it hurts more than any other heartware staff...she asked us during our exam period to go work for heartware...and we gave her the dates she want on the second upon receiving her email...she came up with the work schedule and emailed us...both me and melia are working for 25 days...i told my marie claire boss that i will work for him starting from jan instead of dec because of the 'half volunteery' work...(for your info, my sale promoter's pay is definitely higher...) and now?after some discussion with her that both of us didnt look for other jobs after she confirmed with us, and that it is pretty late to find job, she asked if we would want if it is lesser days...so i called up melia and got back to her...in the end, we've each got 17 working days...i shall not count how much lesser is the pay because it is just too unbearable...during last year's giving month, huilin and us were under the same committee...that was when we all got closer...since then, she has always been my favourite person at heartware...when she first looked for me for this year's dec event and told me to help her look for people, i messaged every single committee member to inform them...she say she looked for us because we are reliable...and i believed her of course...we even planned which christmas card we want to give her...so that we wont give the same one...and after all that eagerness and excitement towards the whole busy month for a whole week was disappointment and shattered within a minute...all that trust...where have they all gone?i felt like a fool right from the moment...how can she do this to me???almost uncontrollably, my tears welled up in my eyes and blurred my vision...but of course, i fight back the tears...because i was about to reach the bus stop...i silently cursed myself for calling her right before i go out...because it just took one minute to dampen my whole mood for the movie i've been looking forward to weeks before my exam end...when i told nurul, my vision went blurred again...all the way...until i reach boon keng mrt station...people must be thinking that i've just been ditched...but i think i felt as bad as that...and on mrt, i talked to melia...again, the tears came...and this time...i didnt manage to hold back...i seriously felt like going back home and have a great 'release'...(means cry lah...) but i still went to ps...
and i realise...bad luck comes one after another...
did you ever realise that some words from your mouth, might cost the three years of friendship between me and her?did you ever realise the seriousness of each and every word at this tense period?
funny...i thought some people can be trusted...yet, within the same day, two proved me wrong...terribly wrong...isnt that enough for the day?i know that good things come in pair...but i didnt know that bad things come in a pair too...how many times must i fail, to convince myself that i should never trust anyone?
i realise...everytime when i join in...i'll always end up feeling terrible, for whatever the reason is...call me over-sensitive...call me immature...i dont care...because the fact is that it indeed happened...so i came up with a solution...in order not be a wet blanket anymore, in order not to inflict myself with more injuries anymore, that shall be the last time it would ever happen with me around...i dont want to be blamed for dampening the mood, anymore...我当担不起...i'm sure it will be much better without me...treat it as if you guys have never met me...i'm sure you all will feel better...the biggest and last favor you can ever do for me is no counselling, no talks, or any of such...i'm terribly tired...
at the same time...i've decided to let go...of you, too...
i am still learning to accomplish all that...
farewell to love, and friendship...
Thursday, November 22, 2007
大對抗!!
see how comical xiao zhu and my lao gong is!!!hahs...oh man....i just love him sooooooo much!!!XP
its over!!!finally~~~~
didnt really felt the 'yeah!' feeling after my last paper...because i was quite in a rush to go for my appointment with my hairdresser...and so i went home and make sure i eat till full...because the auntie said, 'you better eat before you come hor!if not later you faint again...'(because i fainted at her house before...not once, but twice...=X)...oh well...so i made sure that i was pretty loaded before i went there...and so it was smooth sailing...while i start reading my 'marley and me'...yesh barry, its the one you gave!hahs...to think i actually wait till yesterday then i open the wrapper...XP but oh well...after about 6 hrs...my body failed me, again...in my mind i was like, 'oh shit...i'm gonna faint again at her house le...' i tried my best to fight back the 'going to faint' feeling...but my face betrayed me...'脸青唇白' was how the auntie described me...so she asked, 'are you going to faint?'...then i nodded and rest for awhile...trying to breathe as deeply as possible...so that more oxygen gets in...while i broke into cold sweat...oh man~~but after a while i'm fine again...so i managed to complete my 7hrs of sitting there...hahs...=)
jie lun said something that touched me abit...just that the effect wasnt there, because of the warm weather...because i saw him walking the long long way outside our school while i was waiting for my dad, so i gave him a called and ask why he wasnt with mal...then, he asked and recalled that i'm not going to prom...then he said, 'har...which means i will only see you next year orh?'...abit sad when i heard that...because it is the fact, given my busy schedule in dec...=( and so i realise i am actually parting them le...=/
nevertheless, i'm meeting jolene and li min on tues for archery!!! X)
just hope that i can have enough time to meet some other people up...
by the way, i forgot to update you guys about my 'trail' in december...i'll be working for heartware(yeah!) at the ice skating rink at tanglin village...almost the whole of december i'll be there...except for 5 days...and i'll be there on christmas!!hahs...so...you know where to find me...=) but do check with me before you go over...in case it happens to be the day i'm not there...plus two days of volunteer at atrium...and one day at my brother's event...two more days for 05s29 chalet...that's my december...x)
cya yea...gotta go and rush out my nyaa booklet...=)
jie lun said something that touched me abit...just that the effect wasnt there, because of the warm weather...because i saw him walking the long long way outside our school while i was waiting for my dad, so i gave him a called and ask why he wasnt with mal...then, he asked and recalled that i'm not going to prom...then he said, 'har...which means i will only see you next year orh?'...abit sad when i heard that...because it is the fact, given my busy schedule in dec...=( and so i realise i am actually parting them le...=/
nevertheless, i'm meeting jolene and li min on tues for archery!!! X)
just hope that i can have enough time to meet some other people up...
by the way, i forgot to update you guys about my 'trail' in december...i'll be working for heartware(yeah!) at the ice skating rink at tanglin village...almost the whole of december i'll be there...except for 5 days...and i'll be there on christmas!!hahs...so...you know where to find me...=) but do check with me before you go over...in case it happens to be the day i'm not there...plus two days of volunteer at atrium...and one day at my brother's event...two more days for 05s29 chalet...that's my december...x)
cya yea...gotta go and rush out my nyaa booklet...=)
Saturday, November 17, 2007
photo maniac...
some pictures for you guys...heh...=)
firstly...let me bid farewell to my lovely comb...looks fine to you right?
but because...hahs...now you know...XP
took this random photo while waiting for melia, at the airport...but look at this!!!the eeyore is sooooo big and soooo cute!!!oh man...i so feel like stealing it...wahas...
i delibrately bought all the different flavours available...and erm, finished them...hahs...lakerol~
my favourite since secondary school... ;)
this is...erm...my attempts to be artistic...apparently it didnt really show my 'artistic-ness'...X)
jolene bought this for me!!!made me so happy before my econs papaer...hahs...gosh...it has been years since i've touch this kind of sweet...hahs...but thanks!! =)
i just wanted to show my mum how pinkish her cheeks were after she choked on the fruits...
because it is just so rare for her to have pinkish cheeks...heh...but the sad thing is, i took after her genes for that...=/
firstly...let me bid farewell to my lovely comb...looks fine to you right?
but because...hahs...now you know...XPtook this random photo while waiting for melia, at the airport...but look at this!!!the eeyore is sooooo big and soooo cute!!!oh man...i so feel like stealing it...wahas...
i delibrately bought all the different flavours available...and erm, finished them...hahs...lakerol~
my favourite since secondary school... ;)
this is...erm...my attempts to be artistic...apparently it didnt really show my 'artistic-ness'...X)
jolene bought this for me!!!made me so happy before my econs papaer...hahs...gosh...it has been years since i've touch this kind of sweet...hahs...but thanks!! =)
i just wanted to show my mum how pinkish her cheeks were after she choked on the fruits...
because it is just so rare for her to have pinkish cheeks...heh...but the sad thing is, i took after her genes for that...=/
hahs...so addicted to it...now, i have more reasons to take a longer stroll back home...X)
the sun is shining brightly!! ~little miss sunshine X)
Thursday, November 15, 2007
randomly...
I WANT MY BIG FOOT TEDDY!!!!!*SOBZ*!!! X(
okayy...actually it's teddy big foot...
okayy...actually it's teddy big foot...
finally after more than a month of chasing after my fave adidas bag which went for servicing, the lady told me today that i can go back anytime to get a new bag as a replacement...oh yeah!! =D
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
birthday babies
econs paper is BADDDDDDDD today!!!! X(
but anyway, that wasn't my real intention to update...hahs...
just want to take this time to wish a few, eh...actually is quite a number, of november babies a very happy birthday!! X)
firstly is keith, on the 9th!!
then is aloy on 11th...
kim boon on 12th...
dannies on 13th...
lester on 14th, which is today!!
last but not least, alexander on the coming 17th!!
(btw if you ever realise, all my 'nov baby' friends are all guys!!oh my, where are the girls!!! =? )
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL!!
hope you guys enjoyed(/will enjoy) your birthdays!!
shall update you guys more, another day...most probably after my very last paper...which is on next thursday!!yeah soon soon soon!!!can't wait!!hahs...
3 more papers, 8 more days!!way to go!! X)
but anyway, that wasn't my real intention to update...hahs...
just want to take this time to wish a few, eh...actually is quite a number, of november babies a very happy birthday!! X)
firstly is keith, on the 9th!!
then is aloy on 11th...
kim boon on 12th...
dannies on 13th...
lester on 14th, which is today!!
last but not least, alexander on the coming 17th!!
(btw if you ever realise, all my 'nov baby' friends are all guys!!oh my, where are the girls!!! =? )
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL!!
hope you guys enjoyed(/will enjoy) your birthdays!!
shall update you guys more, another day...most probably after my very last paper...which is on next thursday!!yeah soon soon soon!!!can't wait!!hahs...
3 more papers, 8 more days!!way to go!! X)
Friday, November 9, 2007
i feel that...you're treating me the same way as how you treated her...(and still now...)
i gave myself so much excuses and reasons to convince myself that it is not happening...
but the reality is undeniable...
what i dreaded most is coming true...but yet i am clueless why it happened this way...
nobody can answer me...nobody...
i gave myself so much excuses and reasons to convince myself that it is not happening...
but the reality is undeniable...
what i dreaded most is coming true...but yet i am clueless why it happened this way...
nobody can answer me...nobody...
Thursday, November 8, 2007
exam....rants? X)
felt pretty distracted from my studies...so came here to update you guys...to let you know that im still alive and kicking...and surviving...(wait till i receive my results...=X)
As is halfway through, and ending in two weeks' time!!yeah...hahs...
7 papers done...and 5 more!!still got 5...haiz...but looking on the bright side, its more than half done...though it seems pretty badly done for my gp and bio...X(
can't wait for my exams to be over...next mon physics paper 2, wed econs, next next mon bio paper 3, tues physics paper 1 and thurs bio paper 1!!
a load of things to do after exams...only one day to complete my nyaa booklet...somemore its the day i end my last paper...Zzzzzz...then next day going to heartware with melia...then we'll bake bake bake at my house...heez...oh man...i got so much so much that i wanna do after my exams...wanna meet up sandy too!!!wanna go archery with li min and jolene too!!hahs...so much so much so much to do...but the battle is not over yet...
ガンバッテ!!! =)
As is halfway through, and ending in two weeks' time!!yeah...hahs...
7 papers done...and 5 more!!still got 5...haiz...but looking on the bright side, its more than half done...though it seems pretty badly done for my gp and bio...X(
can't wait for my exams to be over...next mon physics paper 2, wed econs, next next mon bio paper 3, tues physics paper 1 and thurs bio paper 1!!
a load of things to do after exams...only one day to complete my nyaa booklet...somemore its the day i end my last paper...Zzzzzz...then next day going to heartware with melia...then we'll bake bake bake at my house...heez...oh man...i got so much so much that i wanna do after my exams...wanna meet up sandy too!!!wanna go archery with li min and jolene too!!hahs...so much so much so much to do...but the battle is not over yet...
ガンバッテ!!! =)
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