マタコンド

should have updated yesterday, but was too tired...so here i am!! =)
this is actually a continuation from my previous posting...i wanted to delete away my previous posting, but still kept it in the end...so here's the second part of the story...

after alot of thoughts, i decided to go meet victor up, together with the facils at 1830, to pass him tim's card and leave after that...so i bathe and rush out of house at around 1800...thinking that i would be late, i took a cab from my house to interchange, so that i can take train there...after all that rush, i managed to reach there at about 1830...i was on time!!but then i looked around, but see no victor!!so i called idah and asked her if she knows where is the actual meeting place...i thought i was at the wrong place...well, she end up giving me victor's number...so no choice i called him up and got to know that he was held up by some stuff and will only reach at 7 plus...then i went T2 and sat there...hoping that time will pass fast enough...

sitting somewhere beside me was a couple, at least i think they are...a male caucasian and a female singaporean i think...they were so loving that thye caught my attention...(but i didnt stare at them okayy...i only peeped at them once in a while...haha!! XP) but it was rather heart wrenching to watch that scene, where it is about time for the guy to leave...then they kiss and hug and kiss and hug for i dont know how long, and the lady teared...after all that hugs and kisses, the guy took an escalator up, and the saddest part was to see the lady, looking so upset, but still she stood there and watch him disappear from her sight...she looked so upset that i felt sorry for her even just by looking...haiz...ermm...i guess i digress quite a bit...wasnt suppose to be telling stories about that...=/

and while i was waiting, tim smsed me his flight number...it was near to 7 i think...at that point i was having a mental struggle, to decide if i should pass the card to him personally or not...and after talking to melia, i decided to leave and come back later to send him off...even though his reply was like after so many hours, it really meant alot to me...at least, it gives me the impression that im still not forgotten...if it was all the tears that i've shed that brought him back, i wouldnt mind shedding more...because it is just worthwhile...
and so i left airport and went to catch a movie...well, i wasn't alone when i watched Alone...haha...do you get it?if you do then you wont find that sentence contradicting...it is just meant to be like that...=) but anyway, i watched it with a friend and both of us got scared...my goodness...the sound system was really good lah...we always end up getting scared even though we knew that the thingy is gonna come out...hah...and the ending was rather new, or rather, unlike those i've watched before...quite a twist at the ending...yep yep...see, i blogged something related to u le rite?haha!!=P

oh and back to tim, i rushed ther right after my movie, and so nice of my friend to accompany me all the way to take the bus with me...thanks so much!!! X)

i felt so pai seh when i reached T2...because i was the last one to arrive!!=X then i sat there awhile with his group of very enthu facils, together with uncle barry and idah...hah...i'm always amused by how embarressed idah got when one of the facils stood up and dance...erh if you're wondering, yep we're at the coffee bean in T2...XP shall spare you all those details that will make your reading even more painful...so i sent him off and went home...yep, thats all...oh, and im pretty surprised when he told me he liked black and metallic colours!!well it was just a coincidence that i happen to design his card in such a way...yep yep...afterall that is one of my favourite combinations for card designs...

alrighty~~that's my last drop-off point of the day...



the promise we made today...we shall make sure it comes true okayy? がんばってね!! =)

in an inconsolable mood...i need enlightenment

when i got to know that my friend's going back aust to study, 'cause his holidays are going to be over soon...my first instinct was that i wanted to send him off...afterall i didnt manage to do so the first time he left Singapore because the next day was my exam...and the second time, i didnt really got to know about it...so didnt go too...but this time, i got to know about it...so i told myself this time i surely will go...afterall i missed the first two times...i'm not going to miss this time too...and so i started to make a little card for him...concept is still the usual 'hz style'...but the words are just good enough to kill me...its just so tough and tedious, that i took quite a few days to do it lo...still went to consult shane for the right japanese words...haiz...and after so much effort, i asked him for the flight details so that i can go look for him there...but his reply was to encourage me NOT to go...though i can understand when he said about emotionally deifficult for him and stuff like that...but then my card is just meant to be read before his flight!!when i told him that i insist on going...and asked for his flight details again, he didnt reply...i really dont know if it was on purpose or he didnt see it, but i just didnt receive his message...then, i asked if we can go for dinner instead...no reply again...desperately trying to get his flight details because he's flying tonight, but i just cant get it...even tried calling him...he didnt pick up both when i called using my house phone and handphone...i'm really lost...and i do know that his cssp camp facils are sending him off tonight...and the only way i can find him, is to meet up with them...but, i know none of them!!and none of my friends are able to accompany me there...suddenly feel so unwelcomed...he allowed them to go, but strongly discourage me to go until he didnt answer my call???we're all his friends...am i really minute to that extent???i know him near to two years already, for god's sake!!suddenly i just feel that i'm like an idiot...wasted so much time...so many nights after the long days in school to prepare his card...using all that hours for which i know im suppose to use for studying, doing tutorial and catch up with my work...and in the end what did i get?i cant even have a chance to give the card to him...and he?MIA.


the card that used to mean alot to me, but not anymore.

as tears flow like those in the river,
here i know how much i meant to this friend...
maybe he might not even see this...
but it doesnt really matter...
at least, not anymore...
i admit that i give up easily...
and this time would be the last time i will do so much for a friend...
whoever it is...
i silently made a promise to myself...
i shall not waste so much time on anyone, anymore...
efforts down the drain...
heart aching for every second...
heartbroken for an unappreciated friendship...
what for?
as i weep and bid farewell to this friendship,
please, whoever's up there...
let me stay out of sorrow's way...
forever...

刘德华 - 牧笛

sharing a sweet, but sad song for u guys...=)

在一座遥远的重远山
有个是年少牛郎
他每天勤奋的牧牛羊
孤单是他最佳伙伴
有一天老青牛带他到清湖畔
仙女们三五沐浴梳妆
莫名的勇气他拾起一件衣裳
刹那间地摇天晃
红銮星它为你下凡
你 这一生我唯一的期待
七夕雨也为我飘来
我 注定是一辈子缠绵纠缠
天长也哭不尽
我对你思念惆怅
我也只能夜夜地望着
那每一次鹊桥两岸
触犯了天条的真心该怎么办
原来良缘要别人审判
那一份我和你无尽的真情爱
银河星也分不开
红銮星它为你下凡
你 这一生我唯一的期待
七夕雨也为我飘来
我 注定是一辈子缠绵纠缠
天长也恸不尽
我对你思念惆怅
我也只能夜夜地望着
那每一次鹊桥两岸
每当我忍不住不停的思念你
倾听我吹的牧笛
遗忘吧以往
王母娘娘的心
也许会为我哭泣
喔 滴沥沥 滴沥沥 滴沥
你 这一生我唯一的期待
滴沥沥 滴沥沥 滴沥
我 注定是一辈子缠绵纠缠
滴沥沥 滴沥沥 滴沥
我 注定是一辈子缠绵纠缠
天长也恸不尽
我对你思念惆怅
我也只能夜夜地望着
那每一次鹊桥两岸
那每一次鹊桥两岸

it's a pity to know that everlasting love, like this, only exists in fairy tales...

oops....long posting again...haha!! =P

when i realised that i forgot to put in a photo taken on 7th july in school, i was thinking if i should put it at the end of this post, meaning i will write about my lastest stuff first, or what...but in the end i still choose the otherwise...

a photo of us in LT 1 on 070707 morning!!cheers to our "rich daughters' parents' silver wedding anniversary" planning!!haha...=P

fast forward a little...that would be the 14th july!!both me and my mum had an unforgettable night at jacky cheung's concert...=)that's me zi-lian-ing at home before setting out!!plus a photo we took at the indoor stadium...X)

well as you can see, we're very very early...=)the bored me started to take photos while waiting for time to pass...and that's the screen facing us!! =)
that's above the stage...but because i am sitting at one of the sides nearer to stage, so it looks kindof weird from this angle...but that's the best i can take already...haha...if you wonder what it says, it says 'the year of jacky cheung world tour 07'...oh perhaps something like that...XPhere!!isn't that many many many ants?? =P this words came onto the screen and the stage starts to 'snow'...what a beautiful view...i'm sure you can imagine it, can't you? =)
although i am not suppose to take any photos throughout the concert, but i still snapshot a little...haha...and i regret not bringing my camera!!end up can only use my hp...haiz...but this part was nice...its the 'xue lang hu' song...
that is the supposed ending, where he introduced us all his dancers....that was before the half-an-hour encore though...=)
had a great night and three and a half hours passed just like that...a little unwilling to go home, but still, we took a bus to bedok and took a cab home...=)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WILSON 大哥!!me and melia went to his office and gave him a surprise birthday celebration!!seeeeeeeeee..........isn't that sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet????hahaha...=P

that morning, both me and melia dragged ourselves out of bed early in the morning and went to tm's ntuc to get the ingredients...and then we went to my house and start our important task...melia's attempt to make the cookies with ginger bread man shape failed, and end up with some flat and round thingy...hmm....but it tastes quite good though...haha...taste like the cookies which i always make...hmm...never judge books by its cover yea?heh...=P

and so i made heartware's strawberry cheesecake and chocolate muffins...those muffins are my first attempt!!haha...after all the great cooks' job, we charge down to his office with a cab as it was rather late already...but the taxi uncle drove us to the wrong place!!and he insisted that it is because we told him the wrong place...wth wth...he bring us to wrong place still say is our fault lo...and the worst thing is, he didnt deduct the taxi fare!!haiz...you know both me and melia cant possibly be demanding for deduction right...so we went off paying 16 plus...off peak okay...haiz...still can feel that burn in my pocket lorz...but well, let's drop that unpleasant incident and put more emphasis on the great things that happened later!!it's so nice to see wilson being surprised by our surprise!!haha...and my poor 大哥 actually work till he forget about his birthday...my goodness!!its the second time i've seen him forgetting his own birthday already!!i've only known him for...one and a half years plus?and he was so engross with his ndp trainings last year that he forgot his birthday!!and this year it happened again!!though its not because of ndp...hai yo...大哥arh 大哥...please take good care of yourself okies? =)


btw back to our surprise celebration, we light up the cake and brought it up to the second floor and sang birthday song with another girl whom i've forgotten her name...think she is my senior...but anyway, after he blew out the candles, he realise that we didnt take any photos...so we light up the cake again while he start posing for us...haha!!and see, he actually attempt use a plastic knife to his cake!!a bit underestimating the power of that small little cake isn't it??haha...so i told him that if he is able to cut the cake, i'll grant him a wish...(obviously you can see how confident i am on my cake before i made that bet right?)haha...and so he failed...haha...and start scraping the uppermost layer to eat...and he introduced us some of the products he planned to sell...the cost price is rather high, so he need to sell it even higher to earn some profits of course...hence the price is rather steep...even though his profit wasn't high...will write about those products next time...when i gather more pictures...=)


here comes monday!!and i drew a picture on my foolscap cover...just want to share with you guys...because i especially love it even more after li min adding in the words upon my request...just find that it fits nicely and yep, just love it!! =)




here comes tuesday!!!!i finish school at 1300...with the best news from econs!!that is, i passed my econs paper 1 and got third in ranking in class!!still dont know about paper 2 because my teacher said that our papers seemed to be lost...*sobz*...but in anyway, that is my very very first time passing econs lor!!so happy can...haha...i was so happy that i could feel myself smiling throughout the bus journey home...=) meet up with melia at heartware in the late afternoon, ans start creating havoc in the office...disrupting their working process...=P we keep moving from table to table to talk to them and disturb them!!haha...i think the whole office is filled with our laughter lorz...oh ya, and i finally manage to see the victor which melia mentioned weeks ago...and to my surprise he seemed rather quiet...thought he is those noisy noisy kind...guess we beat him for that...haha!!=P well, the comments for my muffins were much better than the strawberry cheesecake...guess its just too sour for them...(oops!!) and muffins seemed okay for them...other than tim's comment on it being too dry...hah...will try to improve it!! =)

but its nice to see that they tried to gave me nice comments and tried to finish the cheesecake even though its too sour for them...really appreciate that...hah...luckily there isnt much newcomers in heartware...because i felt a little weird when i offered stuff to victor, whom i dont even know if not because of melia...and because of ida, i wont forget about the 'gas, liquid and solid'!!haha....=P and photos time!!!!! =D

us & ida!!

us & huilin!!

us & janice!!

us & ruiwen!!

us & pc!!

us & tim!!

had alot of fun that day, but just want to lend this opportunity to apologise to melia, for being so insistent on the way back home issue...just dont know why i suddenly become so emo...sorry lehz...=X

oh no...i realise i have again, posted a very very long blog...i believe this is going to take aloy's whole lifetime to finish it...judging on his 'one word per day' policy...haha!! =P

if only somebody can understand how i am feeling, what i am going through...but that somebody...not only that he doesnt exist, he will not appear too...can you understand what my are the emotions in my heart?even i dont understand...so do you think you will?=/

阿沁 - 圣堂之门

这是一个让人沉沦的纪元
灰色谎言冷漠了整个世界
收拾心情我向下一站旅行
为了你找寻能重生的寓言
天使断了翅膀微笑着
美丽的牺牲
带着伤痕背负着人们
穿越圣堂之门
看到你那空洞的眼神
还想逃开害怕承认
你转身
天上的风吹散了云的伤痕
我才开始慢慢的学会平衡
爱的过程伤透了我的灵魂
你就这样离开让我很心疼
天上的风吹散了云的伤痕
我学会平衡
永远不再心疼

forgivable sinner 07-07-07

backtracking a little...

its friday,06/07...and melia meet me up outside school to go heartware together...i brought along my very first attempt for strawberry cheesecake, and melia made her very first chocolate cookies!! =) oh ya, and i forgot to mention...her cookies are meant to be soft, and not 'lao hong' de...haha!! =P
though i was rather upset by the fact that my school's cafe auntie put my cheesecake in a fridge instead of freezer, which caused the cake to be unable to be served...=( left it in their freezer and they said they will eat it on monday...wonder if they remembered?wonder if its spoilt?i've no idea...=X
but i did perked up when i saw tim,uncle richard,huilin,pc,janice,rui wen and sam!!oh my...and we made a hell lot of noise there...haha...saw yaoxing too...im just glad we managed to talk normally again...though a little weird feeling tingled inside me...well, uncle richard's good at the table soccer game!!haha...and he kept teasing me and melia...so mean!!! XP

after that, we went katib to take the bus back to tampines...it was a long, and rocky journey...=P
being lazy, we decided to call off the original plan of going to cycle at pasir ris park, and went to my hse instead...

today, melia made a harmless lie for the sake of me...im so touched~~~=)

dinner was a guilty one, because i took it after 8, and i didnt do my sit-ups that day...=S
we were rather sleepy at around 12 plus, but because we start chatting, we end up being rather energetic and sleep only at around 0330...

moving on...

its saturday,07-07-07,known as Earth Day...

woke up at 0600 today...

we both wore green to sch!!yeah!!(see how much we support Earth Day?!haha...)
went for the leadership talk after sleeping for about...2 plus, near to 3 hrs?so obviously i was half asleep during the talk...oh well, but i do know what the lady was blabbering throughout the 4 hrs...haha...at least i did quite a bit on the 'planning' activity...=)

finally after that, we bought lunch and cough syrup for the uncle in cheshire home, and brought him out to ntuc for groceries shopping...
well, and on the way back to cheshire, i had a terrible encounter with an old man which i would not want to mention again...its just......like a nightmare...(i've got a weak heart you know...)

after cheshire, we went to buy my favourite 'cha shao'!!!(again, i felt guilty over food after a day without exercise and late dinner...=X) but it was just so irresistable...haha!!=P

right after that, we went archery for one and a half hours...my goodness...i can feel how much my skills went rusty after 3 weeks without practise...terrible!!better buck up...=X

oh, and i realise a lot of couples got together and also, got married on this day, because it signifies a longlasting relationship...so did my mum's friend...congrats!! =) (you're finally married!!!hahaha...heyyy...dont feel that im mean okayy...im not...'cause my mum said the same thing too...haha!!=P)

070707 was a very unforgettable day for me...due to the so many things that happened within a day, including shocking ones, scary ones, happy ones, sinful ones and sweet ones...=) the night was such a memorable one, though it left two forgivable sinners...things that are worth remembering indeed...

as for...being expressive, i'm still learning...ever since i realise it seems rather wrong when one, who doesnt have much qualities, over-expressed herself, i decided not to make the same mistakes...well, afterall i also read this story ‘丑女与西施’, which said something like, the 丑女 wants to be as attractive as 西施...because whenever 西施 made an action, everyone would find her beautiful...even the most ungracious act...hence when 西施 did an action, the 丑女 would imitate and do that in front of others...but all she got was the people find her very very ungracious, and disgusting...after reading that, or rather, even before reading that, i already know how this world functions...when you're a beau, no matter what you do, people will perceive that as an act of beauty...but if you're those with an apologetic look, no matter how graceful you try to be, you're still a 咸鱼...since young i'm surrounded by lots of pretty friends...and yep, they always manage to get those benefits which i can never get in my entire life...so obviously i wouldnt want to be those 不要脸的人 and attract attention right...afterall i do know where i stand among people...so gradually, it became a habit that i dont express much...guess i just dont want to become a 没有自知之明的人吧...being expressive, in my case...would it make people around me feel better or would it make them disgusted?i do mind, and seriously wondered...=/

i'm a brave girl!!well, at least im gonna be one!!knowing that there might not be people there for you when you fall is really something that leaves me with only, being brave and no other choice...

everything will be alright for me?i seriously hope so...its like, an ugly duckling trying and hoping to turn into a beautiful swan...but hey, don't forget that that happened because it was written by humans, in fairy tales, and not in reality...people write fairy tales because those beautiful things will not happen in real life...so they can only write it out...people daydream because they know things would never be like what they have daydreamt...no wonder i daydream so much...

always believe that NS is the best thing to test a couple's 'durability'...not alot of people can pass through the test smoothly...but i believe that when it really does, not much of a thing in the future would become their obstacle...no doubt i always wanted to try and make sure i have a chance to test the strength of my relationship...well in case you're wondering, i have yet find a suitable candidate...(more of that people dont find me as a good candidate i think...) and most probably, i'll have to stick to my friends...heh...sadly, but yep, poor friends i have...pity them...haha!! =P

well, though i sounded rather negative, tonight did increase my confident a little...and yep, i'm always a very silly girl indeed...